Crush
You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you've done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you're tired. You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and you're trying not to tell him that you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling, and you're trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you've discovered something you don't even have a name for.
From the archives
·
2017
I definitely should have said something
that moment our eyes met
just walking down the street.
there's no emoji for it, nor
an app that can deliver it to your door
(traffic contingent within 30 minutes or your money back)
that moment our eyes met
just finding a seat on the bus.
watching the mediocrity of day to day
blur, like a bokeh effect on a teen movie
(that you definitely wouldn't watch now, but watching it again reminds you of being young)
that moment our eyes met
just doing your thing at work.
a single blink and the spell's broken, but
the moment echoes for the rest of the day
(the next 40 years together played out before a blink and can never be deleted from either of us)
that moment our eyes met
just starting to talk for the first time.
part of a larger group, but
seeing each other fresh like we just met
(and the light that floods both our eyes comes from the same place)
Read more of this excerpt...
I definitely should have said something
that moment our eyes met
just walking down the street.
there's no emoji for it, nor
an app that can deliver it to your door
(traffic contingent within 30 minutes or your money back)
that moment our eyes met
just finding a seat on the bus.
watching the mediocrity of day to day
blur, like a bokeh effect on a teen movie
(that you definitely wouldn't watch now, but watching it again reminds you of being young)
that moment our eyes met
just doing your thing at work.
a single blink and the spell's broken, but
the moment echoes for the rest of the day
(the next 40 years together played out before a blink and can never be deleted from either of us)
that moment our eyes met
just starting to talk for the first time.
part of a larger group, but
seeing each other fresh like we just met
(and the light that floods both our eyes comes from the same place)
Read more of this excerpt...
WORDS TO LIVE BY
“There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind.”
Catch 22 · Joseph Heller · 1961
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