Crush
You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you've done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you're tired. You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and you're trying not to tell him that you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling, and you're trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you've discovered something you don't even have a name for.
From the archives
·
2021
Crossroads
"I never liked Santa Claus. I thought he was scary and creepy. I had a problem with him. But the look on those little girls' faces, when they caught sight of the reindeer and the sleigh - I don't think I'll ever see more pure wonder and joy. The girls' eyes were just huge. One of them said, 'Oh! Oh!' And they ran to the window and looked out, and they were saying, 'Oh! Oh! Oh!' It was just pure joy and credulity. Their utter belief in what they were seeing was just the most beautiful thing. And all the... all the... I'm sorry, but all the shit I'd been through in California, it just got washed away. It was like I was being reborn, just watching those girls and their reaction."
"That does sound beautiful."
"But what does this have to do with anything?"
The dumpling inclined her head suggestively.
Read more of this excerpt...
Crossroads
"I never liked Santa Claus. I thought he was scary and creepy. I had a problem with him. But the look on those little girls' faces, when they caught sight of the reindeer and the sleigh - I don't think I'll ever see more pure wonder and joy. The girls' eyes were just huge. One of them said, 'Oh! Oh!' And they ran to the window and looked out, and they were saying, 'Oh! Oh! Oh!' It was just pure joy and credulity. Their utter belief in what they were seeing was just the most beautiful thing. And all the... all the... I'm sorry, but all the shit I'd been through in California, it just got washed away. It was like I was being reborn, just watching those girls and their reaction."
"That does sound beautiful."
"But what does this have to do with anything?"
The dumpling inclined her head suggestively.
Read more of this excerpt...
“There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind.”
NON-FICTION
