The Third Policeman
‘The last hanging we had in this parish,’ he said, ‘was thiry years ago. It was a very famous man called MacDadd. He held the record for the hundred miles on a solid tyre. I need to tell you what the solid tyre did for him. We had to hand the bicycle.’
‘Hang the bicycle?’
‘MacDadd had a first-class grudge against another man called Figgerson but he did not go near Figgerson. He knew how things stood and gave Figgerson’s bicycle a terrible thrashing with a crowbar. After that MacDadd and Figgerson had a fight and Figgerson – a dark man with glasses – did not live to know who the winner was. There was a great wake and he was buried with his bicycle. Did you ever see a bicycle-shaped coffin?’
‘No.’
And then:
- The Third Policeman ‘See that you regularize your irregularity instantaneously,’ he called as his good-bye, ‘and set right your irrectitude and put the...
- The Third Policeman ‘The first beginnings of wisdom,’ he said, ‘is to ask questions but never to answer any. You get wisdom from...
- Cry, The Beloved Country - I’ve spoken to Mary, he said to me. She and I agree that it’s more important to speak the...
- The Pale King 'Well, my dad used to like to mow the lawn in little patches and strips. He'd do the east corner...
- Brown Of course, I did spare a thought for a little boy I’d seen earlier that day. He was kneeling on...
- The Secret People Smile at us, pay us, pass us; but do not quite forget, For we are the people of England, that...
19. May 2009 by The Geecologist
Quoted from
Flann O'Brien originally written in
1967
Categories: Lies
|
Tags: bicycles, bike, coffin, crowbar, execution, flann o'brien, grudge, hanging, parish, solid tyre, the third policeman
|
Leave a comment
